Conversations With My Dad and Grandpa From The Other Side and How They Respond

Life has a tendency to come at you fast, it has a tendency to throw the things you least expect at what are seemingly the worst times. My Grandpa Woodrick passed away a few months ago while I was on a camping trip in Utah. This time, my boyfriend and I were leaving our campground and headed to a gas station to grab some coffee. For the majority of the trip, we didn’t have cell phone service or simply chose to leave our phones on airplane mode since we were looking forward to disconnecting from, well, everything for a few days. I decided to turn my phone off airplane mode to quickly inform my mom that we were okay, but she had already texted me saying, “Please call me as soon as you can.” I had a dream the night before that my dog died, so I jokingly looked over at Christian and said, “Hopefully Winston didn’t die.” The news was much worse, my Grandpa endured a heart attack that ultimately took his life. 

I was shocked and soon my eyes began to swell and I started to sob. My Grandpa was 87. He lived a long and successful life but his mind gradually began deteriorating the last few years and he was falling over more and more. It was shocking because I had seen him only a few days prior to going to Utah. I had just looked into his eyes and explained the details of my upcoming trip. He nodded and smiled at me warmly, asking questions, saying he was proud of me and that he loved me. That’s the thing about my Grandpa Woodrick, he made you feel special, he made you feel heard. He would nod and smile at every response to any question with immense vigor and say, “That’s great, Maddie, that’s really great. I’m proud of you.” I always knew he meant it.

I had stopped at my grandparents house before my trip because my grandma had bought me a few books we had talked about the last time I had seen them. I was eager to read them and grateful to have something to keep me occupied while I was traveling. One of the books was called, Signs. I didn’t bother to pick it up and begin reading until the flight home. I didn’t know exactly what the book was about, but I knew that I had to read it, and that it might help me after what happened to my Grandpa. 

Google books describes Signs as, “A modern guide to connecting with the other side, Signs is full of stories of hope. It teaches us how to recognize and interpret the life-changing messages from loved ones and spirit guides…” I wasn’t raised religious, but I have always found comfort in knowing there is a higher power and knowing that my dad has always been alongside me, loving and supporting me all along. He died by suicide as a result of his anxiety driven depression when I was five years old. One of the ways his presence has already been validated is the fact that my whole family already had “signs” from my dad. We knew when we saw our sign or even each other’s sign that my dad was with us, watching over us, supporting us, however you want to say it. My mom’s are butterflies, my sister’s are dimes, my brother’s are lions, and mine are polar bears. 

My mom befriended a woman who considers herself a medium when I was in my pre-teens and she gifted us each of our signs. The author of Signs, Laura Lynne Jackson, described a medium as “someone who gathers information about people and events through means other than their five senses, and who can also communicate with people who have passed from this earth.” I didn’t understand the significance of a polar bear between my dad and I. Until, I remembered that the last thing my dad had given me before he died was a stuffed animal polar bear. Not long after that realization, I was looking at a picture that I had framed of my dad that I had looked at a million times. This time, I noticed an embroidered polar bear on the corner of my shirt. Since these two experiences, I have seen polar bears in the most unexpected places and have found comfort in knowing my dad was with me. When I picked up this book, I was already aware of the relationship one can maintain with loved ones who have passed. I didn’t, however, know the many ways in which those signs can be communicated and how to ask for them. 

I always knew my dad was looking after me and I was reminded of that when I would see a polar bear from time to time, but it’s not like I would see a polar bear every day or even every week. I rarely “spoke” to my dad and he barely ever crossed my mind when I went about my days. Honestly, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to “talk” to him or even think about him because it was too painful. I thought that talking to my dead dad seemed pretty sad and quite frankly useless because it’s not like I was ever going to get a response. It wasn’t until I read Signs that I realized I was so wrong. 

One of the most prominent lines Jackson wrote in her book, that resonated with me the most, was when she expressed she had a much stronger and communicative relationship with her dad after he passed. After reading that, I realized the one thing I have yearned for most in my life was possible – I just had to be open to it. Creating and maintaining a relationship with my dad meant I had to start talking to him; if I was feeling like I needed reassurance or validation about something, I had to ask for it. If I had a question or needed help finding the answer to something, I had to ask for it. Some people might call this praying and I do believe in some sense it is, but for me, I am simply talking to my dad. 

The way that I talk to my dad is pretty simple. One time I was having a hard time at work and I said to myself, “Hey dad, I’m having a hard time today. Can you please show me our sign to let me know I’m on the right path? Am I where I’m meant to be?” The next person who came into the restaurant I was working at was wearing a face mask with polar bears on it. It’s not a huge or grand gesture, but it was enough to make me smile and help me get through the rest of the day. I decided to do the same thing for my grandpa who had just passed. Unfortunately, my grandfather and I were not close while he was alive. As the years went by since my dad’s passing, my siblings and I seemed to see my grandparents less and less. Eventually it was one to two times a year to celebrate Christmas or birthdays. Even though my grandpa was gone physically, it didn’t mean that I lost my chance to have him be a strong part of my life. 

Sometimes, we don’t even need to ask for signs. They can fall into our laps when we least expect them to. Jackson goes into much more detail about the many different ways signs can come to us, but the utilization through technology such as phones stuck out to me the most. She described how people can receive “ghost calls,” which is when people will receive calls from phone numbers that are no longer in service, or how people have received voicemails with music that are also from phone numbers that are no longer in service. I have never had something happen to me that I couldn’t explain, until I began to talk candidly with my dad and grandpa. 

From the first chapter I read in Signs, I began asking my grandfather for one. I knew it might be hard since my grandfather and I were not close, I wasn’t sure if my grandfather and I had enough common ground where I would be able to recognize one he sent. Even though I could have asked for something specific, I wanted to put what I learned from the book to the test. I told him that I wanted to know without a doubt that the sign he was sending me was from him. I wouldn’t have to question it or wonder at all. I also subconsciously began thinking about how cool it would be to get a “ghost call” or a voicemail that I couldn’t explain. It was only a matter of days until I was getting ready to do a workout on my stationary bike that something unexplainable happened. 

I was disconnecting my wireless headphones to connect to my bike and as soon as I pressed disconnect from my phone I began to hear jazz music. I swear my heart stopped. There was jazz music coming from my headphones that weren’t connected to any device. While this happened I continuously checked my phone to see if it was playing something and there was nothing; my spotify app wasn’t even open and the bike I was going to connect my headphones to wasn’t on yet. I stood motionless in the kitchen of my house for what seemed like much longer than the few seconds the jazz music was playing. I was afraid that the slightest movement or breath would tarnish the connection from wherever this music was playing from. I knew I needed to be listening to it and I knew this was my highly anticipated sign I was waiting for from my grandfather. 

I kept listening and to my surprise, a voice began singing. After a short while, the song was over and I googled the main lyrics. The song was Daddy Lessons by Beyonce from her album, Lemonade. I have always loved Beyonce, but I am embarrassed to admit that I never listened to that album. I know it sounds funny that my grandfather sent me a Beyonce song from any of the millions of songs he could have chosen, but the lyrics of the song could not have been more relevant to me. The most prominent lyrics that stuck out to me were, “And right before he died he said remember, He said take care of your mother, Watch out for your sister…” and “Came into this world, Daddy’s little girl, And daddy made a soldier out of me…” Once the song was over, I immediately ran into my moms room and asked her if she was playing any music from her phone. After she said no and I took her phone to double check, I told her how Daddy Lessons by Beyonce had mysteriously begun playing from my phone. She told my sister what had happened and soon after I received a text from my sister saying, “Jazz music was Grandpa’s favorite.” 

I know that song was sent from my grandpa because it was something I simply can’t explain. My grandpa was aware of the lack of common ground between us and chose a song that both of us would like, a little bit of jazz and a little of Beyonce (I can’t think of a better combo); along with a message that he knew I would resonate with. It almost felt like him and my dad wrote that song specially for me. I believe my grandpa sent me that song as a nod at the hardships my family and I endured after my dad had died. I believe that this was my grandpa’s way of letting me know that even though it hasn’t been easy, I am strong and I am resilient because of it. And above all, he is proud of me and that he loves me. Some of these things, he never said out loud while he was alive but I am profusely happy that he finally found a way to. I feel extremely grateful to have experienced this act of love from my grandpa and I am looking forward to discovering more ways in which I can continue to develop my relationship with him and my dad from the otherside. I have always believed in “something more;” but until I read Signs and realized that my grief and pain had been clouding my ability to truly open myself to my dad, my grandpa, and the possibilities of the other side, heaven as you might call it, some serious healing and understanding finally occurred. I cannot stress enough the importance of not only acknowledging this existence, but fostering this relationship. Do not be afraid to ask your loved ones who have passed, your higher power, or your god, for help, reassurance, or guidance. When these happenstances occur, please do not take it for granted and never forget to express gratitude. I don’t think everyone is going to get a Beyonce song sent to them from their dead grandpa, but if you ask often and nicely, you might be surprised.